Tag: detachment
Mystic Musings: Slogging Through Other People’s Density
Slogging Through Other People’s Density ©2019 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC
I’ve had several nights this week where I’ve been awake for ages, feeling other realities waft through me. I’m able to discern they’re not mine, but I’m not fully able to pinpoint whose they are. But boy, some people are having a really difficult time!
Several people are crippled with anxiety. A couple folks are in the depths of despair. One gets me as they’re mired in resentment, and I can go there myself all too easily in the wee hours.
It’s almost always a loved one who’s emotional energy I tune into, they span 6,000 miles and several time zones. But I often forget about the most obvious one – my husband right beside me in bed.
A devout Buddhist, he has a practice of praying for people, so during his wakeful hours he’ll start thinking about different groups that are suffering. Which sounds oh so holy and lovely but for the empath next to him it’s pretty gruelling.
I’ll have no reference point or clue that he’s focusing on starving Sudanese, or someone who is ailing. But I’ll feel their emotional resonance.
It occurs to me that we’re all influenced by other people’s density, now more so than ever before. As we collectively go through the shift in Consciousness, our sensitivity is increasing. But our first reaction is to think it’s our own reality.
Certainly, feeling other people’s struggles colors our own experiences, but you don’t need to stay stuck in their stuff. It doesn’t help them to match their level of discomfort, and you can still have compassion while being detached.
Someone I know who is married to a psychic, created a technique for being able to sleep at night when his spouse is dealing with different vibrations. He uses an imaginary lead curtain (like the aprons they put on you at the dentist office when you’re having x-rays).
You can also imagine yours frequency to be a 1/2 step above the vibration you’re dealing with. It allows you to separate from the density without totally detaching.
If you’re visual, you can imagine your energy field to be a different color than theirs. If they’re a dark blue or grey, yours can be yellow or pink.
An ancient technique is to imagine a rose at the edge of your energy field, creating a defining line between your space and others’. I think of it like floats in a swimming pool that let you know where the deep end is.
Of course, at 2am I didn’t think about any of these suggestions, or I would have gotten a better night’s sleep!
Try these yourself and see how your reality changes!
Mystic Minute: Hover Above The Holidays
Hover Above The Holidays ©2018 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC
We in a potentially contentious holiday season, with things seeming more inflammatory than usual. What’s the best way to get through them without napalming bridges between family and friends?
When you find yourself at the dinner table with racist and sexist remarks flying, I invite you to take a mental step back and shift your perspective.
You don’t necessarily have to leave the room (although I’ll share a useful technique later that uses that action). Just imagine hovering above the table, like you’re watching a movie.
Because in reality, you *are* watching a movie. When people go unconscious, as they do at the holidays, they start spouting lines and playing roles that don’t reflect who they really are as Essence. You’ll see the worst of Uncle Kevin or your sister, because they’re as triggered as you are in family settings at the holiday. They’re just most used to operating without awareness than you are. (I’m presuming, since you’re reading this).
You are Consciousness, experiencing life in a physical form that has emotions and feels sensations. You are bigger than the story that is happening at the moment.
Your relatives that proudly trace their lineage to Robert E. Lee and spout Faux News headlines, are also Consciousness. As entangled in the story as they seem, they’re more than the characters they’re playing.
Hovering above allows you to detach from the intensity of the scenario. It helps you be able to respond rather than react. You may even discover your heart opening, and find these nut jobs endearing.
When you’re not engaged in reality as it seems to be, you get to experience reality as it really is. You may find yourself having deep insights and revelations, when you’re viewing things from a higher perspective.
Now if the festivities get too much to handle and you want to leave way earlier than it would b socially acceptable to do so (and this works even if you’ve just gotten out of your car and haven’t even gone into the house or restaurant yet), you can play a little game I call Parallel Universes.
As Consciousness, we’re experiencing reality on a multitude of levels, and we’re actually experiencing all possibilities at once. It’s just our body-personalities that feel like they’re going along a linear timeline and being in only one version of reality with a set script and inevitable outcome.
As Consciousness you can shift your storyline by stepping through invisible doors to different ones. Now you aren’t going to step through an invisible door and teleport to a white sand beach in Thailand. But you can step into a different version of a family gathering.
So if it’s about to be World War III at your dinner table, you can get up to go to the restroom or the kitchen and imagine stepping through invisible doors where it’s unfolding differently, where it’s al harmony and love (some open ended intention). Leaving the room you’re actually passing through a portal anyway – every door and archway can be one. And when you walk back in you may find a reality where people are getting along.
This also works if you haven’t even gone into the gathering yet. Stepping through invisible doors from your car to the front door, you can shift being in a different storyline altogether. You can discover an Uncle Kevin (or sister) who’s newly in recovery and not drinking, for instance.
It doesn’t work if you set a specific intention like, they’re not drinking or they’re not racisit anymore because that’s coming from your personality that wants to control. When you step through doors with open ended intentions what results is something your mind can’t preconceive. It’s beyond your wildest imagination.
Go into the holidays with a sense of playful curiosity, what will happen if I do this? I wonder what will it be like if I hover above?
Play with this, and let me know what happens!
Mystic Minutes: Drained By Chaos or Drama? Here’s What To Do!
Mystic Musings: Don’t Apologize For Being Neutral!
Don’t Apologize For Being Neutral ©2017 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC
There is a lot of emotional and mental noise in the world today. Things are really polarized. And there’s a big message out there that if you aren’t upset about something, there’s something wrong with you!
Often, however, the more dramatic the scenario, the less likely it is to be true. It’s more likely a distraction from something else really going on. Or is simply an indicator of a distorted perception.
97% of us grew up in dysfunctional homes. Many of us suffer from PTSD. When triggered, there’s going to be a very, *big*, reaction. And, wow, there’s a lot to react to in the news.
But how does it feel to react to all that’s going on? How does it feel to be in the thick of it?
I find it really frustrating and painful. I had a lot of sleepless nights this time last year. It reminded me of the misogynism and narcissism of my childhood. My response, when I got old enough, was to fight back. In that scenario, I think I was the only one to leave without feeling like a victim, with a sense of power because I could stand up.
Yeah. That’s a pattern that’s not in present time.
My expanded perspective now, as Consciousness, is that anything that is negating, anything that is dramatic, is not the Truth. It is an entanglement of density. It emanates from bodies and personalities and is disconnected from Consciousness.
When I’m responding as Consciousness, I feel neutral. I don’t get emotionally caught up in the stories. I have a bigger picture viewpoint. I see the greater Light of Consciousness shining in the world and exposing that which has been hidden in shadows. I see uncomfortable patterns rising to the surface to be cleared.
There’s a valuable tool I learned when working with families and friends of alcoholics, and it’s called ‘detachment’. It’s being able to detach, to not be emotionally affected by the alcoholic’s behavior. When you stop responding to the chaos created by someone actively drinking, you can clearly see how you can adjust your own behavior. You can learn how to step back and let them have the consequences of their actions. It gives you the energy to take care of yourself instead.
Now, folks who are embroiled in the drama are going to get pissed off if you’re not in the trenches with them. They’ll accuse you of being disassociated, or frigid, or ‘on the other side’.
But when you respond as Consciousness, you’re able to not get drawn in. You don’t need to apologize for being neutral.
Being neutral doesn’t mean not having any feelings at all. But the feelings are even, not turbulent. Mostly as Consciousness, I feel compassionate, and even amused if it’s really batshit crazy.
I’ve even felt sad about some situations. But as Consciousness I know things can get reversed in an instant. As Consciousness, I know that *everyone* is Consciousness, even if they’re not currently acting like it.
As Consciousness I know that this lifetime happens in a blink of an eye. This, too, shall pass. They, too, shall pass. Things, and people, can change.
Responding, from neutral, is retaining your power as Consciousness. No one has authority over your internal space. You can make empowered choices as Consciousness. And that leads to an incredible sense of freedom.