Tag: consciousness

How To Stay Connected With Your Inner Essence During External Storms

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How To Stay Connected With Your Inner Essence During External Storms ©2019 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

There’s a huge Consciousness Shift happening and instead of bringing more harmony, life seems full of conflict. We feel out of integrity on every level.

It’s hard not to be influenced by what’s going on in the news, with the weather, and our society. There’s huge upheavals going on everywhere.

In fact, it can seem wrong to have any sense of serenity when there’s so much pain and misery in the world.

And our own storylines can be full of challenges. We may be one paycheck away from disaster, close to homelessness, no retirement. We’d be insane to *not* feel frantic at the prospect.

Why is all this still going on when we’re supposed to be advancing as Consciousness? And, how do we get back on track when it seems we’re so far off out path?

Consciousness is a high vibration, it’s as if greater light is coming into form. It illuminates everything that is not of Consciousness. There’s a greater spotlight on anything that is dark or discordant.

Patterns, and the resulting behaviors, that are disintegrating will seem louder and more intense. Those that are clinging to them are feeling their demise the most.

And yet, there is an inner part of You that is constant, unchanging. It is your Essence, the greater part of you that you can only access within. Trying to find it outside of yourself results in you chasing illusions.

How can you find the “greater” part of you inside yourself? It seems like it would be cramped inside this dense meat suit.

And yet, when you can turn your focus within, you find an infinite well of wisdom. The deeper you go within yourself, the more unlimited you feel.

You don’t need to be a Buddhist monk, nor do you need to meditate hours on end in order to achieve this state. Anything that creates quiet, anything that withdraws your attention from the noise and drama, connects you to your Essence.

At your Essence, you *are* Consciousness, you are infinite awareness and wisdom. You are that which is coming into form. Give yourself moments throughout your day to remember this. Start to make decisions and take actions from Consciousness will completely change your life!

Mystic Musings: How To Navigate Through Fog!

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©2019 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

It’s been a strange week. I’ve been home, my third of the month that I get to be here, time off from caring for my brother in New York. And I’ve had to submit a description for a talk I’m giving next month. Usually it’s easy to come up with an idea and whip something off. This week, though, I got nothing.

Energetically, it’s felt like being fogged in. Disorienting. No intuitive sense of how to move forward. Other people have reported similar feelings.

It seems to me that there’s a disconnect going on. Folks are feeling out of touch with inner selves or their usual guidance.

At the same time, I’ve been getting intuitive hits. Time has been stretching and reorganizing in my favor. All of which is validation, to me, that I’m still operating as 5D in a hologram. But it’s a sense of flying blind, and not certain if the radar is working.

There’s a couple of reasons for this. One is due to an extreme acceleration of Consciousness. The frequency is so high, it disconnects from the physical. Our body and personality can feel quite lost until they readjust.

The other is due to extreme resistance, by unconsciousness. When our bodies and personalities and entangled in unconscious patterns, the resulting compulsions, or addictions, can separate us from our Essence.

Now, Consciousness is always there, always present. But how can you reconnect when you feel so off course?

It may seem counter-intuitive, when the body appears to be lagging so far behind Consciousness, but slowing down or even stopping, is a very powerful way to get back on track. People in these situations feel like they can’t take the time to meditate and yet that’s exactly what’s needed. Not necessarily the sitting still for hours saying ‘om’ kind of meditation, but turning off your phone and social media for an hour can do it.

Connecting with Nature can do it very quickly. Just stand in your backyard, if you have one, or walk in a park. Say “hello” to the trees and notice them saying hello back. I especially come alive if I’m near water, especially a creek, river, waterfall, or ocean.

Doing this may not solve all your problems, but can give you sunbreaks of relief amidst the fog.

Know that you’re always going towards expansion. You’re always naturally evolving towards the light, even if it seems the opposite at times. You, at your Essence, *are* Consciousness and that which disconnects you is simply the unconsciousness that is in the process of disintegrating as you step into your own Light.

Mystic Minute: Structure vs. Improvisation in the realm of Manifestation!

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Mystic Musings: The Power of Words To Transform Your Life!

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The Power of Words To Transform Your Life ©2019 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

Words have power. What you call someone or something influences your experience, and can even influence them. We project energy and we receive energy from our surroundings.

It’s pretty obvious when you’re trudging around with negative thoughts, criticizing whatever you seen. You’re living in your own world of doom and gloom.

A picture’s worth a thousand words

Positive thinking works. Shifting your wording can shift your energetic experience.

On a more complex level, the words and terms your use carry historic patterns. There are words that use to be acceptable that we no longer use because they’re now offensive. We’ve become more mindful of our language.

In 1981, I was the Church secretary for a United Methodist Church. The female pastor would have me retype the hymns to use non sexist terms for God.

For many years it didn’t bother me to call God “He”. I grew up in a male dominated family, I felt I could hold my own around the term. But God as “Father” affected my spiritual experience. Father did not have my best interest at heart. It was not a benevolent universe.

Some people simply refer to God as “She”, and that brings in a different feeling. And yet that may not work for folks with mother issues.

Early on, I began calling it Universe because it didn’t have a gender. And made for a friendlier relationship with it. “Hey U” I’d say, having conversations rather than prayers.

But all of this was still outside myself. Something other than me. Although I knew I was Spirit there still was a hierarchy and Universe was outside and above.

At some point I realized I needed a new name, and Consciousness was what it felt like. When I use the term Consciousness, it feels expansive, it’s both me, within me, and all that is, externally.

For me, Consciousness has no other references. But many others think it just means “awareness”. Or Cosmic Consciousness, which to me has a historical connotation, from my early Mystery School training.

Now Awareness could be used instead of Consciousness and evoke the same feeling. For a while I’d used the term Essence, as in the Essence of who you are. Essence for me is internal. Consciousness encompasses all.

When I am identifying as Consciousness and navigating as Consciousness in my life, things reorganize in my favor. I feel lighthearted, amused, curious, excited, in love with life, in love with my ‘self’, in love with the world.

Notice for yourself if the terms you use need upgrading. Do they feel light and expansive and full of possibility? If not, simply trying out a different word can transform your entire life!

Mystic Minute: How To Affect Change from 5D into the World

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Mystic Musings: The New Way To Navigate!

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The New Way To Navigate ©2019 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

My brother and I were in the laundry room of his apartment building in Queens, NY. All the washers were full but had finished their cycle. He said to take the wet clothes out of one so we could use it.

“Shouldn’t we wait to see if they come for it?” I asked.

“No,” he said. “It’s the New York way.”

So we did, and actually never saw anyone else in the laundry room during the time we were doing our wash.

It was an unusual experience for me because I’ve not used public laundry facilities for nearly 40 years. I have a different sense of space and ownership.

Their neighbor on their floor is an elderly woman whose television plays 24/7. Right next to my brother’s bedroom. The people upstairs keep unusual hours, you hear their shoes tromping above you at all times of the day and night.

Outside, New Yorkers have no trouble expressing themselves with their car horns and voices. They’ll honk when two cars ahead of them there’s a school bus.

It’s not my way. I don’t know how much of it is growing up in different countries and cultures, lead to my quietly navigating around and through. Or being empathic, I consider others when choosing my own actions.

In highly populated areas there’s a different experience of density and effort. On one hand it’s a mosaic of individuals and their radiant energies. On the other hand it’s a tangled snarl of opposing patterns.

The old paradigm of having boundaries in these circumstances would be to loudly express yourself, to physically dominate your location, to densify your personality to make your presence known.

There’s a different way to navigate all of this from 5D. You can own your space without dominance, without noise. You can be loud, as in joyfully singing your own music into the world. You can be present, and your Presence is inherently noticeable.

You can own your space calmly in the face of others reacting to your changing frequency.

You don’t have to match the energy of the crowd, nor do you need to resist it. You can expand your inner openness. In non-resistance, you let the energy pass through and dissipate.

Even as I know these things, I don’t always practice them perfectly. I’ve gotten angry here at a volume that would be offensive in Seattle and in New York, nobody blinks.  But I’ve also found the most potent way to be Presence on the subway is to smile.

Consciousness is shifting, our frequency is becoming lighter and more expansive. The rules for navigating are different on this level. There’s no clear guide book, as we’re all entering this brave new world somewhat together (and some kicking and screaming).

The old ways are effective in this new reality. We need to upgrade our old techniques, improvise and make stuff up.

New navigation is fun, experiential, done from a sense of play and curiosity. When you start to move through the world in these new ways, your entire life transforms.

Mystic Musings: Life Isn’t A School

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Life Isn’t A School  ©2019 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

It’s a popular point of view, that Life is a school, that we’re here to learn lessons. Back in the early 1980’s, as a clairvoyant reader, I’d explain to my clients that past lives were like grades, and we access the information in our present life. Just as we don’t remember learning recognize letters or to spell, it all comes together when we start to type a letter.

As I shifted to a 5D perspective, I started to realize how inaccurate that concept was. And how many projections and distortions it creates. School is hard, so life is hard. In school, there are other people in charge of you(teachers and principals), and kids who are a grade ahead. So that must mean other people are in charge of you and other people are ahead of you.

Schools have exams. So life has tests. You don’t get ahead until you’ve learned your lessons. If something bad happen, you failed the test and have to take the class again.

It’s hard to give up the concept of life as a school. But when you begin to live life *as* Consciousness, it just doesn’t make sense any more. You become aware that you are infinite awareness and this reality is your creation to play in.

Early in my Consciousness shift, I described life as a playground. But playgrounds have games, and often there’s someone monitoring to make sure everyone is playing the rules.

As Consciousness, you are the Creator, and reality shifts and changes as you shift and change.

Now, your body/personality needed to learn things. It popped out helpless, unable to roll over or control it’s pee and poop. It needed to learn to walk, it needed to learn to write, it needed to learn the “rules” to be taken care of and to survive.

But you are not your body/personality, you are the greater Essence that created it to express in and experience this physical reality. Confusion reigns when you transpose or project your body/perspective onto yourself as Consciousness.

As your body, this world is density and effort. The predominant feelings are effort and fear.

As Consciousness, you’re aware of the bigger picture *and* aware of all possibilities. You effortlessly dance in any direction. The predominant feelings are joy and amusement.

As Consciousness there’s nothing for you to learn, you are the Cosmic internet, you are the infinite information source. It’s all about creating and experiencing.

From 5D, reality manifests and unfolds easily and effortlessly. Simply shift your awareness from your body/personality level to yourself as Consciousness and your entire world transforms!

Mystic Minute: Endings, Beginnings, & Growth Spaces!

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Mystic Musings: Slogging Through Other People’s Density

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Slogging Through Other People’s Density ©2019 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

I’ve had several nights this week where I’ve been awake for ages, feeling other realities waft through me. I’m able to discern they’re not mine, but I’m not fully able to pinpoint whose they are. But boy, some people are having a really difficult time!

Several people are crippled with anxiety. A couple folks are in the depths of despair. One gets me as they’re mired in resentment, and I can go there myself all too easily in the wee hours.

It’s almost always a loved one who’s emotional energy I tune into, they span 6,000 miles and several time zones. But I often forget about the most obvious one – my husband right beside me in bed.

A devout Buddhist, he has a practice of praying for people, so during his wakeful hours he’ll start thinking about different groups that are suffering. Which sounds oh so holy and lovely but for the empath next to him it’s pretty gruelling.

I’ll have no reference point or clue that he’s focusing on starving Sudanese, or someone who is ailing. But I’ll feel their emotional resonance.

It occurs to me that we’re all influenced by other people’s density, now more so than ever before. As we collectively go through the shift in Consciousness, our sensitivity is increasing. But our first reaction is to think it’s our own reality.

Certainly, feeling other people’s struggles colors our own experiences, but you don’t need to stay stuck in their stuff. It doesn’t help them to match their level of discomfort, and you can still have compassion while being detached.

Someone I know who is married to a psychic, created a technique for being able to sleep at night when his spouse is dealing with different vibrations. He uses an imaginary lead curtain (like the aprons they put on you at the dentist office when you’re having x-rays).

You can also imagine yours frequency to be a 1/2 step above the vibration you’re dealing with. It allows you to separate from the density without totally detaching.

If you’re visual, you can imagine your energy field to be a different color than theirs. If they’re a dark blue or grey, yours can be yellow or pink.

An ancient technique is to imagine a rose at the edge of your energy field, creating a defining line between your space and others’. I think of it like floats in a swimming pool that let you know where the deep end is.

Of course, at 2am I didn’t think about any of these suggestions, or I would have gotten a better night’s sleep!

Try these yourself and see how your reality changes!

Mystic Minute: Take Off Your Crazy Glasses!

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Take Off Your Crazy Glasses ©2019 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

This morning someone was talking about how their life was going easier, but there was still chaos. They are shifting jobs where they won’t be so busy, but that feels really uncomfortable to their body-personality.

Our body-personality is always mimicking Consciousness. It tries to create reality by manipulation and control. It reacts to what is, rather than responds to what is.

When you relax into operating as Consciousness, you realize you as Consciousness are creating all of it.

When we start navigating life as Consciousness, there’s no need to control the flow, but that doesn’t mean the flow is out of control.

My body-personality wants to make something happen (“make it a great day” strikes me as very body-personality).  It wants to change or fix things. It wants things to happen faster.

As Consciousness, everything happens in perfect timing. Sometimes instantaneously, sometimes eventually.

It’s not because you need to learn lessons before you attain what you want. It’s not because you’re blocking something.

You can engage the world of more effort, or respond from no effort.

Your body personality is going to interpret things through it’s lenses, pictures, concepts, or impressions. It will interpret something as crazy, or chaotic, and get you all riled up feeling you need to change it the hard way.

A clue to not operating as Consciousness, is when I’m trying to change people and the world around me, rather than simply shifting within myself. If I feel crazy or out of control, it’s a sure indicator that my attention is outside myself.

No matter what is going on in my storyline, when I’m centered within myself as Consciousness, everything is ok. All is going very, very well.

Take off your crazy glasses and you will see that in your own life as well.

Mystic Minute YouTube Video: How Everything Can Change In An Instant

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Mystic Musings: How Can You Get Ready Before You’re Ready?

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How Can You Get Ready Before You’re Ready? ©2018 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

There some huge energetic changes in store for 2019. How can you get ready for them when you’re still in 2018?

I’m back in the Northwest for a month before returning to Queens, NY to continue helping my brother recover from a stroke.

It’s a huge growth space.

I’m still decompressing from the intense physical and emotional work I’ve been doing. And yet there are things I need to set in place while I’m here, so that I can continue with my business into the next year.

It may seem counter-intuitive to schedule activities before you feel ready, and yet that’s exactly how you get yourself ready as well.

Think of it as you as Consciousness taking care of your future self.

This can be in tiny ways. When I left my brother’s in New York, I stuffed my purse full of Earl Grey tea bags, only to discover I’d left myself a nearly full box from my previous visit.

It can be in major ways as well. I had a conversation recently with a woman who was struggling with maintaining her career while caring for two elderly parents. She had no children herself and her career not only supported herself, but ensured her retirement (caring for her future self).

In my present frame of mind, I just want to spend the next four weeks in bed drinking earl grey tea and looking at Facebook. And yet as I write that, I feel a stirring of discontent.

Because it’s only my body-personality that wants to stay in bed, that can’t imagine interacting with people because it can’t imagine beyond this present moment.

My mind is a sneaky bugger that also wants to convince me to take no action because, as Consciousness, navigating reality is done improvisationally. Stay in bed, that’s responding to the present moment, it says.

So there’s some truth to not preplanning because it could just be your mind wanting to control your future.

How to stay open to possibilities, and yet also set yourself in motion for them to happen.

This reality is full of polarities. That’s what makes it so delicious.

Consciousness is creating this reality for the joy of having physical experiences. That is all. It doesn’t matter to Consciousness whether those experiences feel good or bad, are long or short in duration. It’s all about the experience. And Consciousness’ impulse is to create, to express itself in form.

When we line up with ourselves as Consciousness, we are in agreement with whatever is happening in the moment. When we make choices and take actions as Consciousness, then the resulting experiences feel fun or pleasant or at the very least “right”.

So as you look towards 2019, you can put things on your calendar, and set things in motion, that you as your 2018 self may not feel ready for. But that you as infinite Consciousness have already embraced.

Try this and see what unfolds for you!

Mystic Minute YouTube Video: Shattering Expectations

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Mystic Musings: In A Holographic Reality, Can You Work With Nature ?

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In a Holographic Reality, Can You Work With Nature? ©2018 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

I’ve recently begun revisiting (and upgrading) my old techniques for working with Nature. I have a coaching client that’s moved to a rural property, and we’re connecting with the devas of the house and land.

It’s a different experience for me since I’ve shifted to 5D reality. Somehow shifting through parallel universes seem incongruous with co-creating with nature. Expanding and contracting time seems contradictory with acknowledging the solstice and equinox cycles.But here’s the thing – everything exists at once, all games exist simultaneously. You can easily shift from one paradigm to the other, if you choose. Yet I know from experience that my old energy techniques don’t work effectively in this new reality. And I don’t really want to feel that level of density and effort again.When I upgrade my old techniques into the present moment, everything shifts and changes. It’s like going from dialup to WiFi.

My old way of working with Nature required a script and flower essences. And a journal, because I’d write down what I perceived that I heard. I’d kinesiology check my answers.Working with Nature from 5D is simple, clear, and easy. It’s intuitive and playful. It doesn’t require elaborate rituals, candles, flower essences, incantations. It’s pure, direct, Consciousness-to-Consciousness communication.

I made a lot of mistakes with my old way of working, as I didn’t know the right questions to ask, or I’d charge off doing it the way I thought was better.
As Consciousness, I’m curious, inquisitive, and improvisational. There aren’t any mistakes. In fact, when my mind doesn’t know what the fuck I’m doing, that’s when the miracle happens.
In my evolution to 5D, I struggled as my old paradigm collapsed, and there was a time that everything felt unreal. It was me as Consciousness but that was it.
The struggle was my body-personality’s. It felt alone. The world was like a movie set.
As more integration happens, I can appreciate more of the nuances that go into making up the physical realm.
Even on a movie set, there are extras and production crew. It’s all Consciousness, but we can enjoy the variety of ways we manifest in form (and in non physical).

You can start by acknowledging the sentience in Nature. Say hello to trees. Notice that they say hello back. Everything has sentience because everything is Consciousness. Your home has sentience.
You can make up your own ways of working with Nature. One of the most potent things you can do it bring your awareness of the surroundings into present time, which releases all past human emotions.
Being in Consciousness is being fully Present, so you can do this instantaneously. It’s not about changing, fixing, or manipulating the surroundings. The power is in changing your awareness.
When you change your awareness, reality changes.
Try this, this week and see what happens!



Mystic Minute YouTube Video: Balance In Relationships

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Mystic Musings: Our Fascination With Story

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Our fascination with story ©2018 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

We are addicted to the news, TV series, books, and Social Media. We can’t get enough of stories about people’s lives. What is up with that?

Part of my story, Rego Park, Queens, NY

On one level there’s escapism from our own story. Our lives feel frustrating and painful. We find relief looking at other people’s lives, real and fictional. If they’re having a harder time than we are, our lives aren’t so bad. If they’re doing better than we are, it can give us hope. The possibility is out there to succeed or solve our problems.

On a greater level, however, it’s our innate instinct as Consciousness. As Consciousness we’re creating our particular life story but also as Consciousness we’re creating *all the stories* that are, was, and will be. 

Now, Consciousness doesn’t perceive things in a linear fashion, it’s all happening at once, simultaneously and instantaneously. Through our body, our physical vehicle, we take in the stories from the perspective of time and space. We learn stories as history, we watch current stories as news, we imagine future stories as fiction of some sort.

Our fascination with story is centered in our creativity as Consciousness. We have a continuous impulse to create in this world. We are so creative that our individual timelines aren’t enough, we have to write books or read them, we have to learn how other people do things in the physical realm as well.

We see other evidence of our creativity as Consciousness, from playing with model trains, designing fish tanks, gardening, and online games of the same ilk.  We’re mimicking in the physical what the part of us that is nonphysical effortlessly brings into form.

The desire to escape is the body-personality aspect of us, that feels powerless over the story, that wants to change, fix and improve it. It’s the mind machine that wants to be in control.

As Consciousness it’s a different impulse, it’s diving more deeply into the physical experience full of love and appreciation for all of it.

In escaping, you’re not really leaving discomfort of your life in order to feel better but to numb stop feeling anything at all.

In diving in as Consciousness, you’re embracing it, beyond the discomfort and conflicting feelings. As Consciousness you have an inherent love and appreciation for it all.

Where are you with your story? Where are you with your story in amongst everyone else’s story?

You needn’t run away, nor dive in. Just stand in the present moment, shift your perspective to that of Consciousness, and notice your reality reorganizing! 

Mystic Minute: How Are YOU Navigating?

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When Visions (and Intentions) are Limiting ©2019 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

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Today’s a potent new moon, and apparently a great time to set intentions for manifesting by the Full moon. I always feel a sense of conflict nowadays between having a vision for the future and being in the present moment, accepting if not content with what is.

My experience as Consciousness in 5D shows me that being in present time feels expansive and unlimited. There’s no need to set intentions or create a vision for the future because you’re creating everything as Consciousness in the Now and it’s all unfolding in your (and everyone’s) favor.

The part of me that wants to set intentions and have a perfect vision is the part of me that thinks there’s something wrong with what is, and wants to manipulate and control outcomes so the results look just the way they’re ‘supposed’ to.

On the other hand, there is a level of reality that operates like a 3D printer and whatever you think about repetitively shows up in your life. If all you’re focused on is your dismal existence and can’t imagine anything better, you’re going to keep experiencing things dismally.

It doesn’t have anything to do with intentions, but it does have to do with focus. When you’re viewing things through the lens of your mind machine, from the level of thought, everything is going to look like a problem that needs fixing.

When you shift your identification and focus to that as Consciousness, everything is going to look like a fun creation to play in or play with.

As Mind-Body-Personality, you’re a helpless drone in this world is one of density and effort. Your mind can only create in reaction to whatever has already happened.

As Consciousness, you’re a kid in a candy store. When you consider your future as Consciousness, it’s a Disney World of possibilities.

It’s all fun, and play, and choices, and options.

It isn’t a matter of changing your mindset, or raising your awareness. You can easily and effortlessly step through a door to a Parallel Universe where it’s unfolding in your favor. You don’t even have to look for the right door, you don’t need to perform specific rituals, you don’t have to be perfect in any way.

When you do this, it’s infinitely subtle and distinctly profound. And what results is beyond your wildest imagination, something you could never have thought possible.

Mystic Musings: Breathing Into Expansion

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Breathing Room ©2018 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

Someone I follow just sent out their newsletter apologizing for “dropping off the face of the earth”. To be honest, I hadn’t noticed. I knew they were moving from a tropical island to a place in Europe where they could ski year round. That alone takes time and energy.

They explained that they needed time to integrate the change, and that they’d dropped everything, even their regular writing, as it was happening. Brilliant.

We need time to reorient within, before looking at our next steps.

This period of time has been relentless with continual transformations. We barely have time to breath before the next adjustment is required of us.

What’s been going on for all of us collectively is huge. Our greater Consciousness is coming more into form. To our body, it feels an enormous expansion.

It may have shown up as really challenging situations that required you to release things, belief systems, and relationships you were very attached to. Anything restrictive may still be in the process of being removed. It may have been very painful. At the very least, it might be an identity shift.

What was going on energetically was an internal renovation. Our old system couldn’t accommodate the increased vibration.

It reminds me of when butterflies emerge from their cocoon. They need to let their wings dry before they fly.

You’ve just gone through this metamorphosis. You have no idea how this new energy body works. Take a moment to feel into it.

Last Wednesday, we aired our last show of Conscious Conversations With Joan and Janet. The contract with the station had come to an end and my current circumstances don’t allow for regularly broadcasting a live show.

Now part of me wants to just jump into podcasting. To fill up that Wednesdays at 11am PT time slot.

Being a radio show host has been a part of my identity since 2009. It’s something everyone understood when they asked me “what do you do”.

What would it be like to not do that? To let there be that space. To see what emerges from the void.

And this blog – I’ve been consistently publishing it and my newsletter for years. What would it be like to skip a week? To go on hiatus?

I’m not sure that’s what I’ll do, but I am noticing the need to allow for something different. To not push forward as the mind, body-personality, wants to do. To navigate intuitively, as Consciousness, and let the next steps emerge.

I’m excited to see what happens!

Mystic Musings: Leaning Into Enormous Growth

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Leaning In To Enormous Growth ©2018 Joan M. Newcomb, CPC

It’s been an emotional week, in a way that I’ve not been familiar with in a long time. Last Saturday I went to the Bronx and got stuck talking with a crazy lady (nice, but crazy) for 90 minutes. Normally I would have handled this with humor and grace. That day, I felt like running screaming from the room. Then I went to the Whole Foods in Harlem (it seems to be my mission to visit every Whole Foods in New York City) and the population density just tipped me over. I’m not used to not enjoying myself to this extent.

Wow, I said to myself. I’m in a huge growth space.

Six months ago at a Meetup I was leading in Tacoma, we were playing with walking through doors to parallel universes, and I hit this kind of resistance as I stepped through one. I realized I was initiating something momentous. I recall leaning into it and wondering what shift was set in motion at the time.

Voilà.

Of course, this began in August but whatever is going on this week is moving it to a whole new level.

Sunday, my sister-in-law’s 70 year old brother came from Taiwan to help. He’s here until February.  All I knew about him was that he became a nurse’s aide when he retired from the army. So we’ve been very excited about his arrival, because he can take over a lot of the physical therapy.

What’s struck me at first is his very kind face. And he’s far more gentle with my brother than I am.

In fact, all of my sister-in-law’s friends and family that have come so far have been extraordinarily kind and gentle. You can tell they genuinely love my brother.

But this guy has been driving me crazy in ways I would normally be able to rise above. There’s a 13 hour time difference between here and Taipei. That’s a lotta days of jet lag. I feel I’ve been enormously rude and petty. But we’ve weathered it so far and yesterday I felt like I’ve broken through some of my stuff. I mean, he cooked my organic onion for his dinner and I didn’t feel ballistic. That’s progress.

There’s a lot of reorganization going on here. Even as I lose physical space, sharing the room with him, I’m gaining time. Now all I have to do is phone calls and paperwork. And I can leave the apartment during the day. Freedom.

My business is shifting, too. I have a two week pause with clients. I feel something else is emerging and I don’t know what it is. I just need to lean into it, and see what I step through to.

Astrologically, this is my natal Jupiter return and the last time this happened was when my work and my world shifted from Newtonian Physics to Quantum Physics. That’s all. I can’t imagine what this year will bring.

But it’s such a time of breaking down, loss of old creations, stepping into new and unfamiliar things every day.

This is happening in different ways to everyone. How are you experiencing it?

What are you losing? What are you gaining?

This week ended with the delivery of a hemi cane. It will help my brother, who’s partially paralyzed on the right side of his body, get out of his wheelchair and walk again. This is a significant step towards independence for him.

And, it snowed.